Tuesday, October 17, 2006

The funeral

Holg here.

What an emotional day today. Well for everyone else that was. I still have my emotion chip shut off. But I'm starting to feel a bit guilty. Here I am, Noel's closest friend and I feel nothing. But the emotion chip has been turned off for so long that I'm thinking I'll lose it completely once I do turn it back on. And that may be frustrating on my part. Mainly because droids can't shed tears. And if I can't express the emotions I feel....... lets just put it this way, it is very frustrating. I hate being a droid some days. In better days when I had my chip on, I still couldn't express my feeling. I couldn't smile, frown, show surprise, fear, hate, disgust.... well you get the picture. I know none of you understands what it is like to have these feelings, but not be able to show them outwardly. It sucks. I think I'll leave the chip shut off for good.

And now I'm just rambling on about nothing......sorry.

Onward.

Well the funeral went pretty good and it was a very beautiful day. You couldn't imangin how many humans, aliens, and droids showed up. I didn't realize Noel touched so many lives. What got to me was seeing Jomb. I never seen a man cry so hard in my whole life. Which only happenes to be two years, but still. I know he feels guility for leaving her, and I'm sure it is tearing him apart. I tried to talk to him, but he was way too emotional to say much. He kept on mummbling things like. He souldn't have left her, and that he truly loved her. He sat for the longest time next to her coffin and just cried. I would feel sorry for him, if I could feel.

It was draining to see the tears, hear the sobs, and know nothing can be done about it. I tried to comfort some, but they didn't like the idea of a heartless droid telling them that he understood.

sigh...

Being a droid sucks.

Well I don't care, I need to feel. I'm going to go up to my room and turn it back on. So if you don't hear from me for a few days, you will know why.

2 Comments:

Blogger Dark Jedi Kriss said...

I'm going to cry.

2:53 AM  
Blogger Vegeta said...

I hve the opposite problem. I'd rather have no emotions.

4:20 AM  

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